Fushigi Yuugi Outtakes
by Ryuuza
Summary: Rated for Tasuki language. The interactions of over-caffeinated FY characters. Cameo by a large aluminum bat.


**Fushigi Yuugi Outtakes**

_Disclaimer:_ I had a dream.  I dreamed that I owned Fushigi Yuugi.  I woke up and found that the dream was just a dream.  Much sadness.  

_Warning:_ The author is a fifteen-almost-sixteen-year-old Chinese gal living in the U.S. with many obsessions [including, naturally, Fushigi Yuugi and an oh-so-lovely purple-haired seishi named Nuriko], bad Japanese [hey, her second language is English and third is Spanish, don't blame her!], the maturity level of a six-year-old [she blames it on her brother, who is of said age and is evidently affecting her mentality], and far too much caffeine and free time at hand [bad combinations at any age, actually].  These are the [horrific] results.  She also likes to play with brackets [see evidence above]. ^_^. Chu!  Read and enjoy!  Review if you feel an overwhelming urge to not be chased by Mei-chan carrying a large aluminum bat [which makes a cameo appearance later on].

--

**Products of an Overcaffeinated Imagination**

_Part 1_

Tamahome: *clasps Nuriko's hands in his* Aishiteru.

Miaka and Nuriko: NANI?!

Tamahome: *blinks* Ah, gomen nasai.  Wrong person.  Aishiteru, Miaka.

Nuriko: *nods fervently* *backs away from Tamahome* Arigatou, arigatou Suzaku!

Tasuki: *snickers* He ain't imperial enough fer you, eh?

Nuriko: *punches him into the wall*

Tasuki: *moans* *glares* REKKA SHINEN!!

Nuriko: *ducks*

Tamahome: *fried*

Chichiri: *poof* *confused frown* Ah…what's going on, no da?  Daijobou, Tamahome?

Miaka: Iie.  *collapses*

Chichiri: I was talking to Tamahome, no da.

Tamahome: *miraculously recovered* Miaka!

Nuriko: *dismissively* Ne, she probably just got a stomachache from eating so much at dinner.  What does Hotohori see in that glutton anyway?  *pouts*

Miaka: Nuri-chan…suki de!

Tamahome and Nuriko: NANI?!

Chichiri: *sighs*

Tasuki: What th' fuck?  This sounds too fuckin' familiar…

Miaka: AHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Just kidding.

Nuriko: *twitches*

Tamahome: Don't even think about it, Nuriko.

Nuriko: *turns and bashes Tasuki into the wall*

Tasuki: *in pain*

Miaka: o.O Oh, gomen ne Gen-chan! … *snickers*

Tasuki: *lifts head* *mutters curses* REKKA SHINEN!!

All but Chichiri: *burned to a crisp*

Chichiri: *protected* *sighs* Damn redheads.  Na no da.

_Part 2_

Mei-chan: *blinks* *picks up tessen*

Tasuki: *turns around* HEY!  What th' fuck?  That's my—

Mei: *runs*

Tasuki: Gimme back my tessen, ya damn THEIF!!

Mei: Look who's talkin'.

Tasuki: Yeah, well, at least I don't talk to the voices in my fuckin' HEAD.

Mei: *watery eyes* Ta—Tasuki… WAH!!

Tasuki: Aw dammit.  C'mon…I was jus' jokin'… Stop that.  Fuck.  Alright, dammit, you can keep the fuckin' tessen for awhile.  Jus' give it back eventually, ya hear?

Mei: o.O REALLY?! *glomps Tasuki* You're the BEEEEESSSSTT!!

Tasuki: *sweatdrop*

Mei: REKKA SHINEN!!

Tasuki: *fried* Goddammit.

--

**Consequences of Being Deprived of Fushigi Yuugi**

_Part 1_

Mei: AAAA!!!  Ben has my last Fushigi Yuugi OAV tape!! *pursues Ben with a large aluminum bat and proceeds to bash him repeatedly over the head with it* I WANT MY OAV TAPE BACK!! *shrieks with FY-obsession-induced deprivation*

All: AHHH!!  There is no cure!  *runs away and hides*

Mei: *counts to ten* Ready or not, here I come!

All: *face faults*

_Part 2_

Mei: I was thinking…

Nuriko: Ne, did it hurt?

Mei: Very funny.  _Anyway_, I was thinking…

Tasuki: Well alert the fuckin' media.

Hotohori: Ne?

Chiriko: Media.  Noun.  Definition: A means of mass communication, such as newpapers, magazines, radio, or television.  And its journalists.

Mei: EXCUSE ME!!  Ahem.

All: *looks*

Mei: Arigatou.  As I was saying…I was THINKING—

Chiriko: And I applaud you for it.

Mei: *grits teeth* THANK you, Chiriko.  Means the world.  Right.  So.  I was THINKING about ways to make some money this summer and--

Tamahome: *poof* Did someone mention money?

Mitsukake: Hai.  Mei-sama did.

Tamahome: *dollar/yen signs light his eyes* Gimme, gimme, gimme!!

Mei: *sweetly* Gen-chan…do me a favor?

Tasuki: *grins evilly*

Nuriko: Aiya! *ducks*

Tasuki: REKKA SHINEN!!

Mei: I take so much joy in hearing him say that…

Tasuki: *smirks* Damn fuckin' straight.

Chichiri: *sigh* Now Hotohori-sama will have to have to have the room cleaned up, no da.  Be more considerate, Tasuki, onegai, na no da.

Mei: S'ok. *waves arms expansively* *POOF* All is well.  *room is clean, table is set, lots of steaming food appears, oh, and burns are healed*

All: O.O

Miaka: FOOOOOOOOOD!! 

--

_owari_


End file.
